Danny's Dozens

	*MONK RULES* *WELCOME to the Thelonious Sphere Monk* Memorial WebLog** Play "Some Toonz" by Monk Go to MacDries Design. Let us know what you think about this or that:
	*January Y2K5*
	1/31/05 Click HERE for the latest totals. Last Day... of a miserable month.
	1/30/05 This In From RomDog If you get close, of course, there is a penis tuft (hair that hangs down) but that is hard to see in the field. The bucks will start to shed soon, usually in mid feb to late march. There will still be "buttons," where the antlers were dropped. By June they will have furry looking antlers growing again. What is hard to tell is if a yearling is a buck, the buttons are below the skin, and just look like bumps. You can go in the woods soon and find a lot of shed horns, they are all over the place in New York, since there a so many deer. My experience with hunters on my land however is that they have a hard time telling deer from horses and cows, forget looking for buttons or penis tufts. They shoot at tractors. MacDries says, "I had to ask." Hewitt Blows Marat Safin dumps all over the brat of tennis. Bravo! On The Road Again To modem land so, as I mentioned, things will be slow for a few days, blog-wise.
	1/29/05 Heading North Again Going upcountry tomorrow so blogging will be minimal until later in the week. Awwwwwww!!!! For The Hell Of It I'm into deer these days. If anyone knows how to distinguish does from bucks after the bucks drop their antlers, let me know. More On Mike? Go HERE. Ellen Jantzen One of our favorite's for jewelry, sculpture and digital art. Go HERE to visit her site. And her husband Michael Jantzen is an amazing Artist/Architect. Go HERE to visit his pages. Angelina Jolie- The Sexiest Woman In The World? I don't think so. Sharapova's sweat is sexier than Angie's ample booty. I Got Nuthin' Don't know what to tell you except I'm gettin damn sick of this arctic weather. Think I'll move to Canada.
	1/28/05 Warren, Not Margaritaville Jimmy Legendary investor (&friend of Bill The MS-Gates) Warren Buffett had nothing but praise Friday for Procter & Gamble's $57 billion (& change) deal to buy Gillette, which made him about $645 million (& pocket change) in one day. MacDries wants to know, "As well he might, but is that before or after taxes? Or is that a stupid question? Doh!" Confused About Recycling? Go HERE. The basics are 1 & 2 are OK. The rest are dicey and don't bother. In Case The First One Didn't Convince You Condi swears again to really be the Secretary of State. Bush says, Powell left big shoes to fill but Condi will fill them. MaxcDries says, "I'd like to see that! The Bozo The Clown image is a good one." The Oscars Oughta be good. I never miss'em but especially this year. Chris "F...in'" Rock!!!!!!!!! The Least Of Dick's Sins Cheney's getting a bit of flak over his Auschwitz fashion statement. Here he is resplendent in a green parka embroidered with his name and featuring a fur-trimmed hood, laced brown boots and a knit ski cap reading "Staff 2001. Other leaders at the event in Poland on Thursday marking the 60th anniversary of the death camp's liberation, such as French President Jacques Chirac and Russian President Vladimir Putin, wore dark, formal overcoats and dress shoes or boots. MacDries says, "C'mon guys, cut the lame Dick a little slack. Brian Leo Redux Another sculpture from the Donut Man's Show at Augustana College in Sioux Falls, SD. Ohhhhhhh.... Oprah, Say It Ain't So Harpo says, this time, she's definitely going to retire... in 6 more years. MacDries says, "Geez, thank god she gave us some warning so we can all get our minds around it and make other plans for that time of day." Remember Anthrax Why have they never caught the perps? Wampumpeag ON SALE... Got a 13x50 foot wall that needs a painting? Enamel on silver, gold and black anodized aluminum. This one has been sitting in a crate since it was finished in 1980-81. It needs a home larger than my own. What ever possessed me?
	1/27/05 Kerry 2008? I get the impression that Kerry is running again. He still wants to be Prez. Well, Nixon did it even after his nemesis Kennedy was canonized. And Hillary is definitely running; see the way she's trying to finese the abortion issue these days and running toward the middle? Like Bill. Except, she's not likeable like Bill and she wouldn't have Perot siphoning off Republican votes. Sorry Hill, take a pill and call your shrink in the morning. Anyway, Rudy will probably kick your ass next time. Hey, here's a battle: Condi vs Hillary. Not!!!!!!!!!! Paul Newman Carl says, "I hope they find Paul Newman soon. I'm getting tired of seeing his picture on all those packages." deKooning's Excavation Add this one to the list of greatest paintings ever. Notice any similarities to the previous image? Corpi Ammassati Auschwitz And then there was Hiroshima and Nagasaki and Viet Nam and Uganda and Serbia and Ruanda and... oh yeah, Iraq. And let's not forget Haiti or the fact that Americans invented genocide. Latest Painting Face Time - 18" x 16" Federer Is Human 26 match streak ended by Marat Safin in 5 sets. More Overheard In New York Woman #1: I've been with him for five years. Woman #2: Wow. That's the longest you've been with anyone, isn't it? Woman #1: Yes...unless you count my two marriages. --Midtown elevator Go HERE for more. Ram Rahman ŠRam Rahaman (detail) Bhavai Actor, Delhi, 1983 Go HERE to visit my neighbor's homepage. Ram is an excellent photographer and graphic designer. You will also find a video of his mother Indrani and his sister Sukanya performing on the old Smothers Brothers' show. Indrani and Sukanya were the 2nd and 3rd generation South Indian Dancers after Regina Devi. Go HERE for Sukanya's pages.
	1/26/05 People Who Live In Glass Houses Philip Johnson, (1906-2005) known less for his buildings than for his signature black glasses, died at Glass House, his celebrated estate in New Caanan, CT. Johnson liked to refer to himself, with scant irony, as a whore; in the 1930's, this man took a bizarre detour into right-wing politics, suspending his career to work on behalf of Huey Long, Father Charles Coughlin, and expressing more than passing admiration for Adolf Hitler. MacDries says, "Nuff said, RIP Phillie, only the good die young." Why???? And now comes Gonzalez. Why???? On the Senate floor Wednesday, Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., suggested Democrats are sore losers. Rice had enough votes to win confirmation, as even her Democratic critics acknowledge, McCain said. "So I wonder why we are starting this new Congress with a protracted debate about a foregone conclusion. Since Rice is qualified (????) for the job, I can only conclude that we are doing this for no other reason than because of lingering bitterness over the outcome of the election." MacDries disagrees, "John, I know you're shooting for 2008 and you have trouble entertaining more than one idea at a time but perhaps some elected officials just don't like the phrase "I was just following orders" and would like to be on record." Cole Porter Saw DeLovely on DVD the other night and didn't think I'd make it through 10 minutes of it's many pretensions but Kevin Kline and the music kept me glued. After it was over Kate went to the piano and played for a half hour or so. And now after re-scoring Ella Fitzgerald Sings The Cole Porter Songbook I'm on a binge. I've heard and admired these songs for years (and weathered the Fred Astaire versions) but it takes a concentrated listening to appreciate the poetry. Go for it. Thanks Carl. No, You're Not Paranoid Well, some of you are but you are being watched. Ever notice how Hizzoner corrals any protesters into that little southwest corner of City Hall Park. Go HERE and you will see why. Blackberry Bud To Barf For As if Budweiser didn't taste bad enough already, they are now producing slightly sweet yet tart mixtures in the flavors of blackberry, raspberry and cherry with a dose of caffeine. B-to-the-E is to be marketed toward "active 21- to 27-year-old experimenters looking for new tastes and options." MacDries says, "If you're over 30 stick to your usual urine flavored Bud Light." This Was Your Life Die in Iraq (as 36 more just did) and your family gets a whopping 12,000 US$. MacDries says, "That will almost pay for the funeral."
	1/25/05 Will No One Rid Us Of This Meddlesome Pest The mere sight of David Brooks, or the mention of his name, is enough to give me indigestion. He just looks like a twit, doesn't he. Bet he still doesn't understand why all the boys (and girls) gave him such a hard time in the schoolyard. NYTimes won't fire him because it gives them liberal slant deniablity but if you see him, please torment him or put him out of his misery in some despicable manner. Happy, however, to see the sick puppy is totally losing his hair. I must admit that I do test myself regularly by trying to read one of his columns. I've never made it past the 3rd paragraph. It's kinda like picking a scab without the pleasure. Meltdown There are few things as disgusting as the filthy slush and black plastic garbage bag pile-up on Bunker City streets after a huge snowfall such we just had. Those of you who live in more tropical spots can count yourselves lucky and gloat for whatever it's worth. Da' Dems Start To Kick A Little Ass Teddy and Barbara Boxer at least are finally realizing that they too were elected to represent some of the American citizens and are making a token opposition to Condi Rice. MacDries says, "About time. What the hell do those Dem Wimps have to lose?" Oscar (Sucks Again) OK, so Sideways did get a nod for Best Picture and Director and both Supporting Actor slots but they skipped the best part of the best film I saw this year; no mention of Paul Giamatti. Guess he's not pretty enough. Instead Jamie Foxx gets the honor for a characature of Daddy Ray. It's a shame and I don't intend to put up with it. WebLog Rising Somehow the hits have recently doubled to about 50 a day. Don't know what the heck is going on but keep spreading the news and maybe I'll get famous.
	1/24/05 Latest Painting Alter Ego - 13 3/4" x 22" First Flight Actual note given to a flight attendant on Quantas Airlines. Carl Grupp You've heard me mention Carl many times before but this is the latest news: On Wednesday, Carl Grupp receives the South Dakota Governor's "Distinction in Creative Achievement Award" in recognition of his artistic diversity and uniform excellence in painting, drawing and printmaking. "He sets a high standard for South Dakota visual artists," according to Pat Boyd, Executive Director of South Dakotans for the Arts. His art and career are currently being celebrated by a major retrospective exhibition, "Carl Grupp: The Wonder of Life," organized by the University of South Dakota and Augustana College. Born in Moorhead, Minn., Grupp spent much of his youth in South Dakota. After graduating from Sioux Falls Washington High in 1957 and beginning his college studies at Augustana, he earned his BFA degree from the Minneapolis College of Art and Design, and his MFA degree in printmaking from Indiana University. He returned to South Dakota in 1969 and joined the art faculty at Augustana College, commencing a 36-year teaching career, serving as Art Department Chairman for 15 years. During this time, he amassed an enviable record of exhibitions, awards and commissions. Carl retired from full-time teaching in the spring of 2004 as an emeritus faculty and continues an active life as an artist in Sioux Falls. John A. Day, former dean of the College of Fine Arts at the University of South Dakota, describes Grupp's artistic legacy: "The artistic content of Carl Grupp's work is engaging and profound, enticing viewers into a world of personal images and associations that are as strangely familiar as they are fresh and unusual. Much of his work is whimsical, sometimes humorous and sometimes sad, but invariably mysterious. His work reflects his life, his view of history and the progress of humanity. It reflects his strong democratic and egalitarian principles that everyone is important, and it reflects his humor." MacDries says, "Bravo Maestro, Professore, Brother, Great Friend. We all love you." Theeeeeeere Goes Johnny @ 79 - RIP RIP Johnny. Emphysema takes a fellow Iowa boy. All that nicotine and pot finally caught up with him. Johnny lived just down the road from J&C on Point Dume in Malibu but I never laid eyes on him in all the years of strolling past his tennis court going to the beach.
	1/23/05 How Soon We Forget Hey! Remember this party. Not as much fun as the second innaugural but none the less... a good time was had by most. Go HERE for more of the party pix. I'm guessing the green latex gloves are so the boys and girls don't get their hands dirty. Yet Another Fish Called Prickly Shark, another of those odd fishies washed ashore. The Next Hillary Duff Emma Derry Dries in her first roll as Duke Senior in As You Like It.
	1/22/05 The Grupp Connection You are a South African bush pilot. You fly in some critical medical supplies, enjoy a quick lunch at the hospital. It's a stifling 100 degrees in the shade and you're eager to get back up to the cool, high blue yonder. On the way back to your plane, you discover that the only bit of shade, within 1 mile, has become very popular. You start calculating the distance to the plane door and wonder... "Do I feel lucky today?" Seen Enough Snow For One Year Two (2) feet of the crap is supposed to be coming to Bunker City but I'd rather they kept it with the stuff they have out in Minnesota where they like that form of H2O. Here's another of those odd fishies washed ashore. Called Aphyonus.
	1/21/05 Fish Fanciers One of many odd swimmers washed ashore by Tsunami. Only a Mommy could love this little Blobfish. Perhaps I Should Explain I am not a pet person. I like animals, some I especially like to eat but prefer them to live outside or in the houses they themselves design and build. That said, pet persons of my acquaintance keep sending me items about pets and their love and or interest in them. I find these pet-people quaint at best and adlepated in the extreme. If I were rude I might suggest they get a life but I am a nice guy and don't really dislike these said pet persons. In fact I like some, love a few others. Here is one such item which I won't bother to refute point by point. Let me just say I've never met a pet capable of saying "I love you Daddy." Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets: 1. They live here. You don't. 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.) 3. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly. Dogs and cats are better than kids; they eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, and don't need a gazillion dollars for college. And if they get pregnant, you can sell the children. MacDries says, "Sell the "children"? Don't you mean kittens, puppies, guppies. Let me just emphasize that the next slobbering pup in heat who trys to hump my leg gets drop-kicked over the nearest goal post." God Damn God Offering one prayer, the Rev. Billy Graham said he believed God had a hand in Bush's re-election. MacDries says, "If that's true she's got a whole lot of 'splainin' to do." The Donut Man My old pal Brian Leo has a show currently running @ Augustana College in Sioux Falls. That's in South Dakota as compared to North Dakota which were once just called The Dakotas back when the Lakota were running things. Go there or be square. I've written a whole bunch of stuff about The Donut Man but you'll have to search deeper than this entry and not on Google either. Back In Bunker City Give me a few minutes and I'll get ketched up. Meantime Go HERE. As Carl says, "Almost as much fun as the real thing.
	1/19/05 Sorry I'm too busy to blog but I'll be back in NYC on Friday.
	1/17/05 6 More Inches Of Powder Just got plowed out and today again. This could get expensive. Snow takes no holidays.
	1/15/05 As I Said Beautiful up here. Pix to follow.
	1/14/05 The Prettiest Planet Very Cute Just got a snailmail addressed to Dan Dries with no return address, postmarked St. Paul, MN. Inside was a Xerox of Dick Cheney, Osama bin Laden, & The Shrub. Above it says; GOTT MIT UNS. Below it says: it's people like these that give god a bad name. This pisses me off for a few reasons. First of all, now I have to wonder who it is from? I have many friends and family in the Twin Cities but can't think of anyone in St. Paul. The handwriting is compulsively neatly printed. Second, whoever it came from either did or didn't read my screed of a couple days ago about people calling me Dan. Third, the deciples of god have had a bad name to me for many years before those jerks came along. Modem Land Going up country tomorrow into dial-up land so blog will be sporadic for the next week depending on whether I feel like dealing with the slow pace of a 56k modem.
	1/13/05 Mystery MacDries says, "The following short document turned up in my writing folder but, unless there is incipient Alzheimer's, I did not write it. The default folder for new MS Word documents is my writing folder which could explain how it got there. I thought it was a quite interesting beginning for a story/novel and noticed the title's relationship to the opening of Moby Dick. I asked my wife and two of my daughters and all deny having written it. Furthermore, while both daughters are very good writers, neither has read Moby Dick. Emma also said, 'Dad, I wouldn't misspell Britney Spears name.' Plus, I don't think either of the girls know anything about Albert Speers. It should also be noted that my mother's name was Agnes Isabella and I also used Bella, short for Isabella, as a character in one of my novels. ???? Anyway, here it is..." CALL ME IZZIE I am Isabella, the offspring of an passive egg residing in the uterus of a mentally disabled woman impregnated by the assertive but uninvited sperm of a man suffering from dementia and memory loss. Both my egg and sperm were residents of a group home run by the sperm's sister. I have never met either of these pathetic instigating elements, and both have since passed away. I know nothing about my genetic materiel and care even less. I was adopted in utero and raised in a loving manner by John & Mary (I swear to God), known to me as Mom and Dad. These two, you will discover if I decide to tell all, are a couple pieces of work. Trust me. They knew what they were getting into; and they went right ahead anyway. I'm not perfect and neither are you smug fucks reading this crap in the New Yorker. And, FYI, neither is your nympho queen Brittany Speers. I mean, other than her leg up connection to Hitler's cohort, what's up with her. Haven't you got something better to do? iTunes Party Shuffle OK, I've got a huge collection of music (not as big as Carl's but) and I've been burning many of my classic CDs onto my Powerbook (about 20 GBs) and throwing off anything that doesn't pass muster. I bought a pair of great little JBL speakers. This has become my main sound system and with the addition of a second set of speakers for the country house I'm all set. I still have my main stereo when I need to blast the whole loft but that is not often. Tenderly by Bill Evans just came up on rotation and I'm always amazed when I hear him again after a short time. Short meaning a couple of weeks at most. Now Rollins is cooking Hold'em Joe from On Impulse. I'd do it if I were you. It saves a whole bunch of time deciding what to listen to next. If you get tired and want to listen to something new, go for it. F'rinstance, just bought Ryan Adam's early band Whiskeytown's Stranger's Almanac and the boy had it down early. Here come's Eddie 'Cleanhead' Vinson doing When My Baby Left Me. Damn! I only have 3 GBs left on my hardrive but that will have to do. Sister Site... to Overheard In New York Site. Suit: It was 6 hours of nonstop powerdrinking. My wife was at a Christmas party and asked me to pick her up, and I said, "Even I would not get behind the wheel now!" 400 Madison Ave. Go HERE. MacDries says, "To paraphrase Jack Nicholson as quoted by Jim Harrison: 'Only in Universe is overdrinking still considered an act of heroism.'" It's Justice, Stupid PHILADELPHIA, Miss. Jan 13, 2005 - The reputed Ku Klux Klansman charged with the 1964 murders of three civil rights workers was freed Wednesday on $250,000 bail. MacDries says, "Guess part-time preachers have a few bucks tucked away. Five days in the clink, hell he's served his time. Nice hat, by the way." Button Button, Go Get Your Button Go HERE. Dear Abby My husband has a long record of money problems. He runs up huge credit card bills and at the end of the month, if I try to pay them off, he shouts at me, saying I am stealing his money. He says pay the minimum and let our kids worry about the rest, but already we can hardly keep up with the interest. Also he has been so arrogant and abusive toward our neighbors that most of them no longer speak to us. The few that do are an odd bunch, to whom he has been giving a lot of expensive gifts, running up our bills even more. Also, he has gotten religious in a big way, although I don't quite understand it. One week he hangs out with Catholics and the next with people who say the Pope is the Anti-Christ. And now he has been going to the gym an awful lot and is into wearing uniforms and cowboy outfits, and I hate to think what that means. Finally, the last straw. He's demanding that before anyone can be in the same room with him, they must sign a loyalty oath. It's just so horribly creepy! Can you help? Signed, Lost in DC Dear Lost: Stop whining, Laura. You can divorce the jerk any time you want. The rest of us are stuck with the a$$hole for four more years! The Royal Sense Of Humour Prince Harry wore the desert uniform of Gen. Erwin Rommel's German Afrika Korps to a party in Wiltshire, west of London, on Saturday. The photo shows him wearing a swastika armband and a badge of the German Wehrmacht, or defense force, on his collar. In a statement, Harry said: "I am very sorry if I caused any offence or embarrassment to anyone. It was a poor choice of costume and I apologize." MacDries wonders why whenever someone is caught in an act of stupidity or illegality they always go easy on themselves. "Poor choice of costume" instead of "Shit!!! Busted. God what a holy stupid ass I am."
	1/12/05 Marley Lives Bob Marley will be exhumed and reburied in Ethiopia according to one of his numerous ex-wives, Rita Marley. RIP Bob, where ever you are. Rita? Get a life, somewhere here on Earth. Wonder what ever happened to my roach clip? I had the same one for 20 years and now it's gone. Luckily I still own copies of Get Up! Stand Up! Ground Zero Bedroom Suite Hiroshima, Nagasaki & Sushi - 19 1/2" x 26" each As I was telling Carl: The title comes from this: Kate and Emma and I have taken to calling all the downtown tourists "Terror Tourists". Often they are confused and looking for something that is no longer there and ask us the way to "Ground Zero". I hate the term so I always respond: "I think it's over in Japan. Hiroshima or Nagasaki way." Now they are really confused. Anyway, I found these three discarded framed Japanese prints on the street and dragged them home (I do this a lot). It happens that the mats were basically the same color as the wallpaper in our bedroom up country; which I was thinking about stripping off. No longer. I just started adding to the Japanese prints and voila! (Hope they were not original Hokusai.) All of which, I'm sure, adds to the aesthetic value of the finished objet'd'art. The living room up country is also wallpapered and it turns out that in 1982 I did a series of 20 collages using wallpaper samples and those suckers have now found a home as well after sitting in a portfolio for 25 years. So it goes... Join Robert Redford No one voted on Election Day to destroy the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. But President Bush is now claiming a mandate to do exactly that. Congressional leaders are pushing for a quick vote that would turn America's greatest sanctuary for Arctic wildlife into a vast, polluted oil field. Even worse, they are planning to avoid public debate on this devastating measure by hiding it in a must-pass budget bill. Go HERE right now and send a message telling your U.S. senators and representative to reject this sneak attack on the Arctic Refuge.
	1/11/05 Mini Mac All you need is a monitor, mouse and keyboard. Nice try Steve but this is destined to join the Cube. Nice Rock Topanga Canyon Road. One of my favorite drives is blocked. They say it weighs 25 tons. Wonder how they measure that.
	1/10/05 1 Reason Not To Drink In case you need encouragement. Just For The Hell Of It Latest Painting Basic Fundamentals (B&W) - 14" x 15 3/4" Seen This One?* Making the rounds. About to hit Indonesia. Buyer Beware. Don't know if it's real or perhaps like the one of WTC with the plane coming towards it. Play The Geography Game* Go HERE.
	1/9/05 Heads Up! Just discovered an album by Bob that I somehow missed. Oh Mercy. Get it! Play it! Fave tracks are Political World, Everything Is Broken, Man In The Long Black Coat (listen for the crickets), Most Of The Time, What Was It You Wanted, and Shooting Star. Weak track Disease Of Conceit. But it's all good. Other Bob info: Check out Foot Of Pride on Biograph. I first heard this on Bob's 30th Fest by Lou Reed. Bob's is better; Lou had to read the lyrics in concert. Also finished Chronicles Vol.1. It will change your idea of who Bob is, for the better, I think. He's not the paranoid semi-asshole revealed in Don't Look Back. Lots of good early folkie stuff. Lady Di (One-act Play) Fatish black woman seated in a 2 person bench on the # 2 train leaving 96th street. She has a shopping bag occupying the remaining 1/3 of the seat. Second black woman enters subway at 72nd and brusquely indicates she wants to sit down. CHAR 1 How tall are you? CHAR 2 Five four. Five four and hundred sixty-nine. CHAR 1 I'm hundred and eighty-seven. These two start to chat in a friendly manner, almost as if they are old friends. Both look a bit like junkies. Young, attractive black girl has also entered at 72nd street and sits next to a man on the 2 seat bench across from them. She wears a headset and is reading a special issue magazine devoted to Princess Diana. The man notices the two black woman have become interested in the young girl's magazine. CHAR 1 Hey. Ax her what she's reading. What's that magazine? Man ignores her. They notice the girl's headset. CHAR 1 AND CHAR 2 (Shouting.) Hey! What's that book? Young girl removes headset and faces the cover towards the other two women. 1st fat woman reaches across and snatches it and begins to thumb rapidly through it. Young girl just sits there. CHAR 2 Look a that dude. Man that m'fucker is butt ugly. Know what I'm saying. CHAR 1 Look it them gowns. Man I ain't never seen her wear no jeans. Alls she wore was them gowns. CHAR 1 He was butt ugly and his girl friend? I don't even wanna talk about it. The two continue thumbing swiftly, back and forth. CHAR 1 Oh, look a that one. How much you pay for this trash? GIRL Fi' dollars. CHAR 2 Man I wouldn't pay shit fer this. Oh he's gorgeous. Looks just like her. CHAR 1 Ohhhhh, he's sweet. Looks like him too. CHAR 2 'cept he's not butt ugly an ain't got those ears. Man that m'fucker's gonna have ta reckon with God. CHAR 1 We all got ta answer ta number one. CHAR 2 Amen. We have now passed 14th street and the young girl looks around. Doesn't know what to do. The man next to her sympathizes but is clearly enjoying it all. MAN Looks like you've lost your magazine. GIRL I only read about two pages. Train is now approaching Chambers Street and the man is getting off. The young girl gets up too. She stands in front of the two women, waiting, but they don't seem to be at all interested in giving up the magazine. CHAR 2 Man, she sure don't have much of a body, does she. CHAR 1 I'll say. Young girl is now getting antsy because she has to get off. The 1st fat woman just hands her the magazine without a look or a thank you. CHAR 2 I wouldn't be caught dead in one a them gowns. CHAR 1 I hear that.
	1/8/05 Soldier Apologizes in Iraqi Drowning Case FORT HOOD, Texas Jan 8, 2005 - Army Sgt. 1st Class Tracy Perkins tearfully apologized to his family, commanding officers and subordinates Saturday, a day after being convicted of aggravated assault for ordering his soldiers to throw Iraqis into the Tigris River. "I will always consider him a war hero. No one can ever take away his outstanding service over there," said Lt. Col. Nathan Sassaman. MacDries says, "No apology, however, to the Iraqi who drowned." Old Bastard, Dirty Bastard, Dirty Old Bastard, Ol' Dirty Bastard From The Onion. Go HERE. Excerpts From Church Bulletins *Compliments of C. Alf Grupp Network The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus." Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King. Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you. Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help. Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get. Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons. The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy." Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice. Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered. The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow. The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon. This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance. The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours "
	1/7/05 This Just In-- Oh Oh!!!! A company run by Armstrong Williams, the Conservative syndicated commentator, was paid $240,000 by the Bush Education Department. The goal was to deliver positive messages about Bush's education "No Child Left Behind" overhaul, using Williams' broad reach with minorities. MacDries says, "Are we Surprised? Naaahhhhh." Rednecks Look Great In Orange Hey! It's Only 40 Years Late A 79-year-old Mississippi preacher and reputed Ku Klux Klansman, Edgar Ray Killen, has been jailed on murder charges for one of the nation's most infamous crimes: the 1964 slayings of three young voter registration workers: James Chaney, Andrew Goodman and Michael Schwerner. Overheard Guy: ...so then she tells me she's a call girl. Girl: Oh, I did that for a while. Back in high school. Guy: You were a call girl? Girl: Yeah, for a little while. It sucked. Guy: Um...yeah? Girl: Yeah. Pay was okay, but it just wasn't worth it. Everybody always yelling at you and hanging up on you. Guy: Hanging up on you? Girl: Yeah. Guy: Because you were a call girl? Girl: Yeah. Guy: Like a telemarketer? Girl: Yes! Guy: Oh. Well, this girl wasn't...that kind of call girl. --F Train Go HERE for more. The Latest Bit Of Bureaucratic Stupidity The Metropolitan Transit Authority is attempting to extend it's authority to combat "TERRORISM". It will soon be illegal to take photographs or shoot video in NYC subways because police have found pictures of subways in "TERRORIST'S" possessions. MacDries suspects that Tour Guides and City maps will also be proscribed as evidence of TERRORIST activity. 9-11.9-11.9-11.9-11.9-11.9-11.9-11.9-11.9-11.9-11. Doh! Of The Day "I will be the first to admit I am not perfect and I make mistakes. -- Alberto Gonzales Attorney General Designate
	1/6/05 Art For Sale On DD-bay Artist signed posters by Christo. 2 versions of Running Fence and 1 version of Valley Curtain. Ray Johnson Originals (1927-1995). May Wilson Originals (1905 - 1986). Facts On Anyday In History Go HERE. Iriver???? Microsoft's new mp3 player is called what? RomDog tells me: iRiver is from a Korean company, ReignCom, and is pure Asian designed crap. And he knows about these things.
	1/5/05 Final Notice!!!! All my life I have been Danny even though my birth certificate says Daniel Lee and my Social Security Card, which I got when I was 12, says Dan L. Whenever I introduce myself, I say my name is Danny. I am not a Dan yet many people (including a couple of siblings) refuse to accept this. Now, if James Earl Carter can be Jimmy and William Jefferson Clinton can be Bill, why the hell can't I be Danny? Some people call me Dries which is OK and one Jewish guy calls me Driestein, as if it's a compliment, even though I've often told him to stop it and I reciprocate by calling him Fishmonger. OK? I'm not a Danno either! Update: I just posted this and went down to get the mail. I got a phone bill for our new country house addressed to Daniel L. Dries despite the fact that I subscribed as Danny. Is there no justice? Good New Site Don'cha always wish you had a tape recorder with you? Go HERE. Samples: Trains and Trannies Chick #1: What an asshole. Do I look like a transvestite? Chick #2: No. Chick #1: Sometimes when a woman is tall and she's dressed like a woman, she really is a woman. Chick #2: Unless you're in Chelsea. --1 Train Out of the Mouths of Babes Woman #1: It's really small, you know, but the sex is wonderful. Woman #2: You mean he's rich? Woman #1: Yeah. Exactly. --Union Square 1st Painting Of Y2K5 Primo - 15" X 15 1/2" RIP Frank Kelly Freas LOS ANGELES - Frank Kelly Freas, father of Alfred E. Newman, has died @ 84. Tsunami I sorry to admit that the scale of horror is so great I have not been able to read a single article beyond the ever mounting death toll. Everyday there are dozens of stories, charts, news reports, comments and opinions but MEGO. It has gotten so bad there is hardly any space for articles about 9/11.
	1/4/05 CNN's Question Of The Day Is the United States prepared to handle a disaster on the scale of the Indian Ocean tsunamis? 33% said Yes. Who are these people who think a tsunami is like an Iraqi insurgent? MacDries says, "Yeah, sure, SE Asia was prepared too." Ryan Adams Probably the single possibility to carry on for Dylan. This is the most pathetic (touching) song I've ever heard. Play "Anybody Wanna Take Me Home?" I bought Ryan's shirt in 1974 (in dark blue) at Ernie Tubb's Record Store in Nashville. Delicious Images NAIROBI, Kenya -- Workers at Kenya's main market killed some 6,000 rats, trucked away 750 tons (680 metric tons) of garbage and sucked 70 tons (64 metric tons) of human waste out of latrines in three days of the first major cleanup of the market in 30 years, an official said Tuesday. Beggars Coming down for a late night snack. Sorry girls, this will have to cease. Late Start OK, first I needed a nap then I had to go get a blood test and now I need lunch so hang on.
	1/3/05 Looking In I know this guy.
	1/2/05 Martin Scorsese Marty's made a couple of the best films ever (Goodfellas & Mean Streets are the Mafia films that trump The Godfather) and a couple of the worst (The Last Temptation Of Christ for one) and he knows more about film than anyone but does anybody else get the idea that he's hired a huge PR firm for this year's Oscar Push? He's everywhere but I still remember the stunned look when he lost the last time. Brace yourself Marty, it's not that important. It's just business and you'll get the Thalberg eventually. Personal Loss Y2K4 My next oldest brother Lawrence "Spike" Dries 1939-2004 RIP Ray Charles, Marlon Brando, Rodney Dangerfield, Henri Cartier-Bresson, Julia Childs, Spalding Gray, Yasser Arafat. Awesome A sextuplet hanging on. Angel On Angell Hill Road At least Emma loved the snow.
	1/1/05 Happy New Year Home from Angell Hill. When I'm in the country, I realize I have no interest in "news" at all. It may take me a bit of time to get up to speed again. Derry/Dries Zoo ŠEmma Derry Dries Word is out. In our back yard yesterday morning there were 12 deer (mostly does, 1 pregnant), 2 wild turkeys, a few squirrels and assorted perching birds (we've identified 10-12 species thus far). These creatures are apparently sharing the message that we feed anything that dares come down out of the woods. The Hicks Bros. You've read here about Herb & Bob Hicks, piano and bass, who live up in Canada. Here they are (Bob & Herb) grinning in 10 degrees BELOW ZERO. Not too bright but good musicians and they don't have Bush for a President (unless they're still citizens) in which case they are as bad off and the rest of us. Definitions ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle. BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye. CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people. CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead. COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours. DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out. EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation. HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage. INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper. MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better. RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn. SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time. SKELETON: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off. TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction. TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today. YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed. WRINKLES: Something other people have. You have character lines. Annual Neologism Contest 1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon. 2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained. 3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. 4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. 5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent. 6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown. 7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. 8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash. 9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller. 10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline. 11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam. 12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you. 13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions. 14. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist. 15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die your Soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there. 16. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
	*Decemnber Y2K4 Archives* *November Y2K4 Archives* *October Y2K4 Archives* *September Y2K4 Archives* *August Y2K4 Archives* *July Y2K4 Archives* *June Y2K4 Archives* *May Y2K4 Archives* *April Y2K4 Archives* *March Y2K4 Archives* Back at'cha Shrub. You little twerp! Go HERE to see the whole tape. Turn the ballot box into a shopping list. These are the stores that supported The Shrub and those who supported the Dems. Buy Blue!!! For The Latest Dries Art GO HERE For The Latest CyberToonz GO HERE I've never actually watched an episode of The Simpsons (I'm more of a Pixar kind of guy) butt... *Dislaimer Go To: MacDries Design Your # is: