MacDries says, "Still rainy and I'm getting bored.
Fave Artist Of The Day
Perhaps my favorite photographer. There are those artists who "make" photographs and those who "take" them. I prefer those, such as Cartier-Bresson (and even his acolyte countryman Doisneau) who take them.
However, let it be said that photographs do lie and there is a huge sprectrum of images unavailable to the camera.
In terms of verisimilitude, photographs are about as reliable as eye-witness testimony. Which means, not at all. I wouldn't want to bet my life on one.
Remember the time when people argued about whether photogaphs were art? Not to mention motion pictures.

MacDries says, "I've been losing weight. Does that mean I've got Alzheimer's.
Intelligence 101
I'm beginning to see why one would want to write a blog. At present, I have a few thoughts I can certainly not prove, but the gaffe over the Michael Isikoff story in Newsweek concerning the Koran and the toilet is redolent with bad odor. Who, indeed, was Isikoff's supposedly reliable Pentagon source? One's counter-espionage hackles rise. If you want to discredit a Dan Rather or a Newsweek crew, just feed them false information from a hitherto reliable source. You learn that in Intelligence 101A.

Counter-espionage often depends on building "reliable sources." You construct such reliability item by secret item, all accurate. That is seen by the intelligence artists as a necessary expenditure. It gains the source his credibility. Then, you spring the trap.

As for the riots at the other end, on this occasion, they, too, could have been orchestrated. We do have agents in Pakistan, after all, not to mention Afghanistan.

Obviously, I can offer no proof of any of the above. There still resides, however, under my aging novelist's pate a volunteer intelligence agent, sadly manque. He does suggest that the outcome was too neat. It came out too effectively for one side, one special side. At the age of eighty-two I do not wish to revive old paranoia, but Lenin did leave us one valuable notion, one, at any rate. It was "Whom?" When you cannot understand a curious matter, ask yourself, "Whom? Whom does this benefit?" Dare I suggest that our Right has just gained a good deal by way of this matter? In every covert Department of Dirty Tricks, whether official, semi-official, or off-the-wall, great pride is best obtained by going real deep into down-and-dirty-land‹Yeah! Expedite the consequences.
-- Norman Mailer

MacDries says, "Or, as George Carlin says, "Military Intelligence is an oxymoron."
Fave Artist Of The Day
The early Rauschenberg obliterated the distinction between painting and sculpture as he claimed to "work in the gap between art and life".

2. A man rushed into a busy doctor's office and shouted "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!!" The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient."

3. A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day his supply of the birds ran out. So he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.*
*Excuse me? Porpoises are not Dolphins.

4. Back in the 1800s the Tates Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products and, since they already made the cases for pocket watches, decided to market compasses for the pioneers traveling west.  It turned out that although their watches were of finest quality; their compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California. This, of course, is the origin of the expression, "He who has a Tates is lost!"

5. A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, "We have absolutely nothing to go on."

6. An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, instructing him to bite off, chew and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, "The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on."

7. A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, "I must have taken Lief off my census."

8. There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant and the first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This goes to prove that the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.

9. A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the brujo looked him in the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, who needs enemas?"

10. By the way, the guy who wrote these 9 puns entered them and one other in a contest. He figured with 10 entries he couldn't lose. As they were reading the list of winners he was really hoping one of his puns would win, but unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

Fave Artist Of The Day
Eadweard Muybridge. Not just a great photographer but the inventor of motion pictures; the major art form of the 20th Century and beyond. Others (The Lumiere Brothers, Edison, etc) are often credited as inventors but Muybridge was the first to shoot sequences of stop-time images and then recreate them with his Zoopraxiscope.
I wrote a screenplay based on his life and work which is available for production if you know anyone... It has it all: San Francisco, a May/September romance, then jealousy, betrayal and murder. And of course the invention of movies as a backdrop. Not to mention Thomas Eakins, Leland Stanford and others in cameo.

MacDries is speechlees.
Kate The Great

Katie Brownell, 11 years old, the only girl in her upstate Little League, pitched a perfect game.
Kid Stuff
Little Tony was staying with his  grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids  for a while when he came into the house and asked her, "Grandma, what is that  called when people are sleeping on top of each other?"

She was a little taken aback, but decided to tell him the truth. "It's called sexual intercourse,  darling."

Little Tony just said, "Oh, OK" and  went back outside to talk and play with the other kids. A few minutes later he came  back in and said angrily, "Grandma, it is not called sexual intercourse! It's called Bunk Beds!"
The Summer of Mary Black @ Malden Bridge
©2002 Danny Dries
Final Draft

Found a dragonfly on a bench today.
Stunned!!! upside down
Twitching!
Is it dead?
Of course not, it's twitching.
I nudge it off the bench
(the fall will trigger its flying genome I imagine).
But no.
It up ends properly
still twitching...
Shall I wait and watch? observing whether it arises
or more probably not.

I opt for a beer
and when I return two minutes later
my dragonfly has flown.
No doubt into another window
another screen
landing on another bench.
Like me the dragonfly
has seen better days.

Better to go out with dignity
not face up on a bench someplace
(or on a marble floor in a toilet)
like The King
some other August day
some minute
many miles from Graceland.

Watching George now
("I like to work. I'm 70." George says.)
He is brush-hogging the pasture and corral
where Toon
(my wife says Tune)
is grazing
Toon too is old.
(Are there horse years? Like dog years?)

Everywhere I go these days I'm the oldest
(except at Associated Food Market
below Southbridge Towers
near St. Mary's Senior Citizen Center).
Oh how those old penny pinching
purple haired crones irritate me
waiting on line
waiting to get out the purse
watching every item being rung up
cashing in her newspaper coupons.
Only then will she remove that damned
ragged coin purse from her shoulder bag.
As if it were important
or even interesting
whether she will die with one quarter
or two dimes and a nickel
or three nickels and ten pennies
("No, only eight, sorry".)

Toon is munching now
on the new mown brush
and I wonder if she too
is soon to retire
start collecting Social Security.
George is not gonna get
that whole field finished before dark.

The frogs have already started
their nightly serenade.
He'll have to come again tomorrow
when Carl the lawnmower guy comes
to do the grassy portions of lawn.
I've been trimming the perimeter
and harvesting the berries
(black and rasp) as I do every evening
after I've shot and digitized
rather than digested
the various carp in Nina's pond.

"Touch those carp and die",
my benefactress screamed via email
when I posited the possibility
of Googling for a Chinese recipe.
And I see I've offended her
who I would not offend for the world
here in her world.

George is coming round
for his fourth pass.
Toon has stepped aside
cooling off as the shadows lengthen
about as far as one can see
then even further.

No way George finishes tonight.
I'm turning on the VCR
Tonight¹s selection from Video Visions:
Office Space by the guy
who gave us Beavis and Butthead.

George is going for yet another pass
around the corral
after working all day
at the Highway Department
(no doubt in the area of brush-hogging
or grass chopping).
He likes to work.

Bugs are the only country creatures that annoy me
(as much as those old fogies).
Out here the birds are fine
(no pigeons, thank you).
Snakes slither away.
Snapping turtles keep their distance
when I pop into the pond for a country bath.
I am not their prey.
But mosquitoes and horse flies are pesky
and ticks would like to give me Lime Disease
when I prefer my lime with tonic when it is gin time.

Gonna go pick up my babies tomorrow.
It's been over three weeks
and we¹ve all enjoyed our time alone.
Now it's face time again.
We'll see if K is now taller than Mom
(or perhaps even Dad).
We'll see if E ate so much chocolate
she's lost her dimples
(those deep dark chocolate dimples).

George is on round five now.
Perhaps he has head lights
(that would be kewl)
He could go all night.
He likes to work
and damned if he doesn't.
The lights come on
and I lose interest.

I crap out on Office Space
but I have Neil Young as backup
wearing an Elvis tee-shirt in most scenes.
Obscenes to my mind.
Dylan and The Possum, even Merle
the whole world it seems
reveres a shooting star dead junkie
who is to Rock'n Roll
what Liberace is to Jazz.
Beer, Beer, Makes You Wanna Cheer
"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. ! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
-Cliff Clavin Cheers
Fave Artist Of The Day
Back in the day when religeous dewds had better things to do. Blessed Fra Angelico, Dominican Friar.

MacDries says, "Again, some people have too much time on their hands.
Fave Artist Of The Day
One of the few giants in American sculpture. David Smith brought 3D drawing into play.

MacDries says, "They had to do a study to determine this. As before, some people have too much money."
The Reality Is...
I know the big thing in TV is the so-called reality show and articles about reality shows are as ubiquitous as pix of Brad & Angelina but I've never actully watched one. From this ignorant perspective I am still certain that reality shows are about as significant to culture in general as disco was to music.
Latest Painting
Note To Myself - 19.5" x 24"
Fave Artist Of The Day
My man, the original Man Ray. The original anti-stylist. Some artists have so much talent that it cannot be contained within a simple style or medium. This not the same thing as a facile sort of eclecticism so prevalent today.

MacDries says, "This is one of the worst designed sites I've ever seen but check it out. The paintings look possible. In which case, whoopie!"
Emma Saves The Day
By beating the throw to first, Emma Dries of the Powder Kegs had 2 RBIs and drove in the game-winning run.
Catching The 10:25 Amtrak To Penn Statiion
Catch ya' later on DSL.
My tooth seems better, hope the other ache, the tenants from hell, pack up and leave while I'm gone, but somehow I doubt it.
Fave Artist Of The Day
Wm. Wegman is Emma's favorite artist after YT, her dad. YT buys her his doggie calendars and books because he feels remorse if not guilt about not letting her have a pet. Good choice, Emma. Wegman is sui generis; a contemporary artist (videographer, photographer, painter) who will survive. And his ongoing pack of Weimariners ought to get equal billing (like Jean-Claude).
My Video Club brought Wegman and Man Ray to Wesleyan when I was teaching there. We had him, Man Ray and my students for beers at my apartment before the gig where he showed his hilarious tapes; some of the few "artist-videos" worth watching. Man Ray was spotting blood on my rug because he was in the onset of his terminal disease. (Bragging Rights: Wegman said he liked one of my Pitti Palace paintings (1970) that was hanging on my wall at the time.)
Wegman also wound up marrying Christine Burgin, the most gorgeous SoHo gallery babe of the 80s, and having a few kids.

*MacDries says, "This comes from Wlfsng via Grupp so I'll not vouch for the authenticity of the speculation."
Fave Artist Of The Day
At MCAD we had a weekly all school program called Convocation and we each had to give a talk on an artist we liked. I picked Giotto and got a bunch of laughs because I thought his camels were so funny looking. I don't remember everyone giving a speech but I do remember my own because I had somehow gotten over my preformance anxiety.
In High School, if an impromptue speech was imminent, I would come down with some afliction and skip school that day. Impromptue was a polite way of saying "spin some bull-shit on a subject you know nothing about. Anyhow, I recalled reading that Giotto and Dante were friends and the poet came to visit when Giotto was doing the Scrovegni Chapel in Padua. This made all that old stuff more real somehow. I've still never read Dante which I was supposed to do for Western Civ with David Brown. I managed to bluff my way through finals. But I do still love Giotto and the frescos in real life were even better than the Skira reproductions. Padua was pretty kewl too, if you're in the actual neighborhood.

2) Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

3) OK... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

4) If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?

5) There are three religious truths:
1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.

6) If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

7) If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

8) Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?

9) Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

10) If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

11) If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

12) When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and you put your two cents in . . . what happens to the other penny?

13) Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

14) Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

15) When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

16) Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

17) Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

18) Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

19) Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

20) "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

21) If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

22) If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

23) Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

24) What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

25) I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me ... they're cramming for their final exam.

26) Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

27) If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

28) You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

29) No one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning.

30) Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

31) Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

32) If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

33) Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
Austerliz
They have townships up here and also towns. The town of Ghent is a Post Office and Old Ghent Realty (our broker), a Dairy Queen open 9 months a year, a Citgo, a bogus Italian Restaurant, a self carwash and that's about it. The township includes a few more businesses and even a landing strip somewhere. Next to our property line is the Township of Austerlitz and the town is 6 miles down the road. It includes three house at an intersection and a Historical Society. Red Rock is about the same. They got a lot of nerve calling these places towns.
The Deck
Built the parts for the deck/walkway on the garage. Now I need a second set of shoulder to help me put them up and install the door/window combo. Any takers?
I'm whipped again. Day is done at 2pm. I'm the boss so I can do that.
Fave Arttist Of The Day
Piet Mondrian. Nobody does it better.

MacDries says, "Phew! I'm glad that's finally settled. Everyone has been expecting, if not hoping for, a Daddy Dearest sort of expose."
Carl Grupp Dot Com
©Carl Grupp
Diogenes Dreamed. One among many of Grupp's masterpieces. Go HERE for more.
Been To Church Today?
What did you prey on?
Fave Artist Of The Day
Kandinsky was first and is still best for this kind of painting.

MacDries says, "Strut your stuff little dewds. No one cares. The new Evil Doers are all Muslims."
Cleaning Windows
...by Van Morrison just came up on iTunes Party Shuffle. Get it!!!!!!!!
Best Of Van Morrison.
Worth Repeating
Subject: New Emblem for the Republican Party*
The Republican National Committee announced today that the Republican Party is changing its emblem from an elephant to a condom.  The Republican committee chairman explained that the condom more clearly reflects the party's stance today, because a condom accepts inflation, halts production, precludes a next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and offers a sense of security while you're actually getting screwed.
*My pal Schon sent this to me last year. She's still beautiful and kewl and it is still pertinent.
New State Quarters
Go HERE.
Strange Tree
Shot this tree yesterday in Chelsea. Blossoms growing right out of the trunk. Anybody know what kind it is?
Fine, Fine Furniture
Met Ed Clay yesterday who was installing a mahogany library for a client up on Park Avenue. If you like great one-of-a-kind furniture, go HERE.
Fave Artist Of The Day
Les Demoiselles d'Avignon by Pablo. Most of us are still working on what this painting told us.
Ashes & Snow
Very "new age", rather one-trick pony, quite beautiful but not sure there is anything much more there. The structure of the Nomad Museum is catherdral like but nothing new architecturally.
Go see for your self. I got in for $6 on a geezer discount.

MacDries says, "Great piece but somebody has way too much money."
Fave Artist Of The Day
Christ's Entry Into Brussels by James Ensor, in case you didn't know. Probably the only great painting in the Getty Museum.
The museum in L.A. is spectacular and worth a visit for the architecture and the site but the collection is pretty bogus.

MacDries says, "What about all those poor souls who have never had sex. Don't they need a little education? And is Al Edwards one of those applauding or is he using the Royal We?"
Whoops! Mistrial
Seems Lyndie was just following orders and the father of her child saves her ass.

MacDries says, "Nobody ever said you couldn't enjoy your orders. It's standard S&M."
Las Meninas
Picasso did his homage too.
Fave Artist Of The Day
Velasquez, in case you didn't know. Perhaps the greatest painting ever created.

MacDries says. "Fuck'em all and the camels they ride on."
Our Dangerous World
The chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff has issued a report to Congress that said the Iraq and Afghanistan conflicts could hamstring the U.S.'s ability to fight other wars, and that future campaigns could last longer and produce higher casualties. White House spokesman Trent Duffy reiterated Tuesday the president's belief that the military is prepared for whatever it may face.

MacDries wants to know, "How many more wars are we anticipating? And, big surprise, I'm not at all certain I trust the President's judgement on these or any other matters."
Our Heroes
If you had walked by the corner of Peck Slip and South Street, about 10 minutes ago, you would have found a NYPD van parked at a fire hydrant outside the Paris Bar. Inside the van, 2 of New York's Finest are watching porn on a laptop computer. How do I know? I looked in the back window and they told me to "get the fuck outta here".

MacDries says, " I feel so safe knowing such devoted servants are out there looking after me and my family. It's going to be so much safer down here when the Mafia controlled Fish Market moves next month. Oh, right, I forgot Guiliani cleaned out the fishmongers' union. Nevermind."
New Tondo
13.5" diameter. For Suzy Bogguss.
The Boss
It's been a few days of digging deep into Bruce. Last night we watched the TiVo VH1 show Storytellers. The Premiere show was himself, Der Boss. He did Thunder Road and others so today I started with Welcome to Asbury Park and am now working through The Wild, The Innocent etc. Tom Bussman gave me my first copy of that back in the 70s and it's been a kewl E Street Shuffle ever since.
I know, I know, I'm supposed to be blogging about Morrisey or some other more current star but I've never even listened to The Smiths... so do your own blog if you can't take it.
When The President Talks To God
Download The MP4.(2.5mb)
--Bright Eyes

When the President talks to God,
Are the conversations brief or long?
Does he ask to rape our women's rights?
And send poor farm kids off to die?
Does God suggest an oil hike?
When the President talks to God?

When the President talks to God,
Are the consonants all hard or soft?
Is he resolute on down the line?
Is every issue black or white?
Does what God say ever change his mind?
When the President talks to God?

When the President talks to God,
Does he fake that drawl or merely nod?
Agree which convicts should be killed?
Where prisons should be built and filled?
Which voter fraud must be concealed?
When the President talks to God?

When the President talks to God,
I wonder which one plays the better cop?
"We should find some jobs the ghetto's broke",
"No they're lazy George I say we don't,
Just give em' more liquor stores and dirty coke",
That's what God recommends.

When the President talks to God,
Do they drink near beer and go play golf?
While they pick which countries to invade,
Which Muslim souls still can be saved?
I guess God just calls a spade a spade,
When the President talks to God?

When the President talks to God,
Does he ever think that maybe He's not?
That that voice is just inside his head?
When he kneels next to the Presidential bed,
Does he ever smell his own bullshit?
When the President talks to God?

I doubt it.
More Art
Ain't going in there. In either sense of the word.
Customer Finds Part Of Finger In His Frozen Custard
Sound familiar? This time it's real.
Go HERE.
Fave Artist Of The Day
New Feature: Great Art
Bruegel, in case you didn't know. Loved this painting from the first time I saw (a slide) of it.
Wow!
New record: 130 hits yesterday. My head is swelling and my butt is tired from sitting at the Mac so long.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: just cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. 5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

And Other Advice:
Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

And finally, be really nice to your family and friends, you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.
Still Laughing Lyndie?
In the words of the old song, "Who's Sorry Now?
OMG!!!!!!!!
Now the Republican have taken over PBS. And they're after Moyers!!!!!!! And he's Christian. Albeit one who thinks once in a while. Is nothing sacred?

Back at'cha Shrub. You little twerp!
Go HERE to see the whole tape.

For The Latest Dries Art GO HERE
For The Latest CyberToonz GO HERE
I've never actually watched an episode of The Simpsons (I'm more of a Pixar kind of guy) butt...
*Dislaimer

Go To: MacDries Design

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